Nature VS. Nurture

I think ive had an epiphany. Tonight my parents had a big fight, and though they dont do this often i still HATE when they do because both of them are too "high and mighty" to accept advice, help, or sympathy from a stupid teenager. My parents are almost perfect except for this minute flaw, which is why i try not to complain. But for the sake of venting i DO find these little immature spurts quite intolerable and childish. All i ever try to do is help; im not condescending or overly-enthusiastic in the least. All i say is something like a meek "Are you guys ok?" or "Can i do anything to help?" and they yell and tell me to go away and mind my own buisiness. Yet again,  it could be a lot worse. Besides, i understand that they are not themselves when theyre upset and that being a perfect parent and spouse is hard to juggle all at once.

Back to my main point. After their fight, as i was scrambling to make dinner for everyone and convince Mikey to play a board game with me so i could calm myself and those around me, it suddenly hit me that my entire personality is diffusive. In other words, every detail and idiosyncracy about my dreams, traits, and habits are all custom built to tailor my need to satisfy everybody and make them happy. I dont think this is necessarily a bad thing, but it got me thinking about how this all came to be. Was i simply born with this boundless caring and empathy, or was it the result of my constant exposure to aruements in my enviornment and the early childhood instinct to "make the bad things stop happening"?

For those of you who are wondering if i come from some tough, dictatorship of a home, please reverse your chain of thought. Yes, i am always seemingly in a dramatic enviornment throughout childhood, but this is not limited to my household. Furthermore, my household was ALWAYS tranquil and nurturing, so dont go yelling at my parents that they should be ashamed of themselves, because the arguements never came from them.

Moving on, here are some key diffusive factors of my personality:
-stress and feelings of helplessness when others fight; like i cant do anything to calm them down
-constant worry that i cant bring different friends together
-95% of the friends that i make are bold, outgoing, histrionic, and "not normal". aka: im attracted to drama
-i act slightly different with every person i know, tailoring my demeanor, behavior, and etc to make a specific enviornment for each friend so they are more comfortable around me
-obsessing over keeping relationships held together; ALWAYS counseling the boyfriend and girlfriend of troubled couples seperately so that each has a friend to vent to and they can both continue with their relationship (aka: playing matchmaker, even when i dont know one or both parties)
-making a habit of complimenting every person i come into contact with, especially strangers
-taking blame for things that dont go right, be it a friend's relationship or their late assignment
-cooking for people when something goes wrong and i dont know how else to help
-LITERALLY thinking more about my friends' problems than my own
-unbearably patient and never the first to pick a fight. Ever.

All these habits and traits have characterised who i am, but i have to ask if these really are MY personalities or just the result of  always "being the helper" when things take a turn for the worst. Sometimes i like being there for my friends almost too much, and i often get a swell of pride whenever i help someone during a rough time. I find myself telling people things like "She's going through a tough time, so i gotta kick my 'best friend duties' into gear this weekend" or "I know he was really angry earlier, i think ill make him some cookies and let him vent to me so he can chill", or even "Im worried about them, but i cant wait to cheer them up by planning them a huge party". Silly as it may seem, im not exaggerating, and ive said all of the things mentioned above and more at different times.

So, my gracious audience, what do YOU think? Be a psychologist for a day and diagnose which you think it is that is effecting my personality, Nature or Nurture? If youre an actual, licensed psychologist thatd be even better! lol  Personally, i think its some combination of both, but if i had to choose id say nurture. When it comes down to it, every child tries to take the best of their parents with them and change the worst. My mom's mom was violent and hurtful to my mom, so when she raised me she was especially careful to NEVER lose her temper. She cant be perfect, obviously, so she doesnt realize that she still allows me to hear her and dad's arguements quite clearly, later refusing to let me help. So its only natural that when i grow up and have kids i will want to be just as caring as my mom, but also try to conceal any parental discomfort around the wee ones, and then attempt a weak smile when they say "You should say daddy's handsome like a prince and everything will be all better" so they at least feel like theyre being helpful.

Stay Caring!  ;)
Christy